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| Image credit: pat-cumbria.co.uk |
There’s no magic phrase to open a conversation about faith
but there are some general principles we can follow.
First, understand we need to open a dialogue. Almost everyone is comfortable talking about
themselves, so we should lead the conversation in that direction.
Second, ask “action” questions instead of those that require
only a “yes” or “no” response. These
begin with “who, what, why, when, where or how?” A good all-purpose opener is “What do you do
when you’re not doing this?” Then
encourage them to continue with more action questions that will help you get to
know them.
Third, remember God gave us two ears and one mouth so we’d
listen twice as much as we talk. We often ignore the most critical part of communication: LISTENING.
Fourth, empathize. Understand their point of view and
problems. Let them know you do.
Fifth, find common ground. We all get battered by life
and it shouldn’t be hard to find things in common. Job loss, relationship problems, substance abuse,
health issues, death of a loved one, uncertainty about life….fill in the blank.
Finally, most people are fair. If you’ve listened to them, they’ll listen to
you. Establish your right to share by
being the first to listen. When you talk, pick up a thread from what you've learned about them and relate back to it.
There a lots of
opportunities to open a conversation.
If someone is distant, daydreaming and inattentive we might say “You
seem to have a lot on your mind. What’s
up?”
If they’re clearly bothered by something, say “You look
upset. Is something wrong?” Be genuinely concerned; for a Christian this
should be easy.
If you’re in a conversation about the dreadful condition of
the world, agree and ask “With things this crazy how do you deal with it?”
In discussions about sports you might interject Christian
references. Many fans aren’t aware that
lots of famous athletes are committed Christians.
If you’re asked what you’re doing this weekend and a church
activity is involved, talk about it and develop a dialogue by asking what they’re doing.
With people you know well, you might ask, “We’ve
known each other for a long time and I’m curious: what do you think about
spiritual things? I respect your opinion
and really wonder what you think.”
Don’t be critical.
Your job isn’t to judge, it’s to promote an ongoing conversation that
may help you share the Good News.
Don’t blow an opportunity by tearing down what they believe, insulting
them and killing communication.
When people open up you’ll find what they say is often
fascinating. I once met a woman who
believed she could meet someone, go back in time and change their karma. It’s an opportunity for you to reexamine your
faith in light of the beliefs of others.
You’ll discover Christian beliefs hold up and become stronger when
you’re exposed to other ideas.
And you’ll be able to share your faith in a reasoned, committed,
low-key and effective way.
Next Christian Standpoint article: Sharing Your Story.
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