Enlightened Courtship Revisited

Back in November, before the Tiger Woods meltdown, the Finding Faith post titled "Enlightened Courtship" commented on traditional rules of courtship becoming obsolete. According to David Brooks of The New York Times "the search was on for more enlightened courtship rules" that reflect a compartmentalization of emotional commitment and sexuality that's resulted from the sexual revolution and fast communication.

The idea is that birth control and Twitter have somehow freed humans from responsibility to each other and made intimacy into no-strings-attached recreation.

Ask Elin Woods what she thinks. Her husband, Tiger, made huge amounts of money from endorsements. Since personal behavior impacts marketability, Elin had powerful reasons to ignore his philandering, keep it quiet and keep the gravy train rolling.

But some things trigger emotions beyond suppression and this betrayal was one of them. It wrecked the marriage, affected the children - who may end up in Sweden - and caused hurt that'll last a long, long time. The schadenfreud (a German word meaning "pleasure taken from someone else's misfortune") is palpable at office water coolers over the fall of a guy who was universally esteemed for his skill, dedication, drive, personality and even his storybook marriage.

We don't have many heroes and it's hard to watch one self-immolate. Instead of reveling in schadenfreud we should be saddened that a role model's been swept away.

Elin Woods is only the most recent victim. Jenny Sanford filed for divorce from Governor Mark Sanford, who had taken up with an Argentine "soulmate." And Silda Spitzer will suffer Chinese water torture as her husband Eliot's call girl became a New York Post advice columnist. Anybody seen John Edwards lately?

On national television, political analyst Brit Hume suggested Woods consider Christianity because of the forgiveness and redemption it offers. He said Tiger "would feel an extraordinary blessing. It would be a shining light...(and) a magnificent thing to witness. (He) could make a total recovery and be a great example to the world."

This ignited a firestorm, eliciting remarks like "Christianity, in America, is hate-filled, judgmental, bombastic, revelation which is reflective, for the most part, of intellectually challenged low life." The commenter, Frugalchariot on www.thinkprogress.org, obviously needs an open mind, better information and grammar lessons. At least his opinion was printable.

Asked about the reaction, Hume noted "It has always been puzzling to me. The Bible even speaks of it, that (when) you speak the name of Jesus Christ...all hell breaks loose. It is explosive." The virulent response is mystifying to Christians because it doesn't jibe with what we believe or practice. Maybe it's just that our values come from a higher authority and we question man's ability to make up his own morality.

In our morally relativistic society, we're told teachings based on biblical knowledge of the human condition are obsolete and we're free to ignore them. But does anyone - especially Woods, Sanford, Spitzer and Edwards after paying the price for indulging their appetites - really buy it?


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